like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize