so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
