Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
