Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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