If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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