More tranny stories later!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
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