so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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