So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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