I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
do nipples grow back?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
