I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
