He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I had to cum in my sink.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
