I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
