some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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