Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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