I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
