before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
