If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
