OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize