I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
