please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
