Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
