I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
