and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
