I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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