I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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