Soap is not a condiment
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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