dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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