I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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