you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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