would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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