i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
