he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
