Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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