It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
