ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
