You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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