She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
