so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize