I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
