my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize