Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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