PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
