How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
