I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize