So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
