ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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