The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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