Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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