My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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