Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
