Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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