So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
