this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
