I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
