I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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