I hope mine doesn't look like that
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
