More tranny stories later!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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