That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
