It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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