Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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