I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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