I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
