He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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