I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
