Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
