was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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