More tranny stories later!
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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