the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
