In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
