Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize