my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
