HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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