I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
