You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
