he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
